the perfect man
by CherryxDarling
Summary: Temporary Hiatus. When they had made The List, it was supposed to be a joke. And never, EVER in a million years did she expect to find The Perfect Man. Slight AU. BellaEdward. Pre-Twilight&Twilight.
1. Surprise, your life is doomed!

**I am **_**always**_** thinking about how Bella's life was before she moved to Forks. So technically this is AU, but Bella is still going to end up with Edward, Edward is still going to leave, Jacob is still there, etc. **

**I don't know how long this is going to be, or where I'm going with this. This is on complete and total impulse. **

**Disclaimer: I WISH. GOD, I WISH. STEPHENIE MEYER, I WANT TO INHERIT EDWARD, **_**PLEASE**_**.**

**_The Perfect Man_**

**_Chapter 1 - Surprise, you're life is doomed!_**

**--**

_THE PERFECT MAN!_

_by Natalie Rodgers and Bella Swan_

_- hot_

_- sensitive (but not TOO sensitive, you know)_

_- manly_

_- athletic_

_- smells-good_

_- hot_

_- smart (always the logical one, Bella. Always the logical one.)_

_- good personality _

_- romantic _

_- interesting_

_- strong_

_- sweet_

_- affectionate_

_- hot_

_- talented_

_- has good hygiene_

_- spontaneous_

_- gentle_

_- not too into himself (wouldn't that be called considerate?)_

"I think that's a pretty good list so far. I'm going to make you a copy," Natalie approved, ripping the piece of paper from her notebook and started to copy it onto another piece of paper.

I sighed. "Why did we do this, again?"

"To prove to ourselves that the Perfect Man isn't impossible and as long as a guy has at least _five_ of these traits to be acceptable. We _will not_ lower our standards!" She stabbed her pencil in the air defiantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure. Right."

Natalie sighed. "Just because you don't believe in the Perfect Man, that doesn't mean he's not out there, Bella." She shook her head.

"Natalie, _no one_ is perfect. It's just not possible." I was the cynic, she was the romantic. We were opposites, and that's why we got a long so well.

Natalie just shook her head again, refusing to respond.

We were sitting in my living room, with the air conditioner on full blast. It was pure hell outside; around one-hundred degrees in the _shade_. And Natalie, who was tan and adored the sun, had been kind enough to stay inside with me - because I was as pale as a ghost - instead of dragging me outside with her. We may not always get along, but we knew each other's limits. She knew when I was about to die from a heat stroke, and I knew when she thought she was right, I couldn't talk her out of anything.

"So, where is your mother at? She's usually here, I mean. Making us cookies or something. Trying to fatten you up." Natalie poked my side and I scowled at her.

"She's with Phil." I mumbled.

"Ugh, _that_ guy again? He's _so_ not the Perfect Man, not even close! By the looks of our list, he has maybe three attributes. Affectionate-"

"Maybe a little _too_ affectionate," I replied, a mental image of my own mother and Phil making out running through my mind. I shuddered lightly. _Not_ my favorite mental image, there.

"Manly-"

"Or so he thinks."

"And athletic."

"He just plays minor baseball!"

Natalie put the hand that was holding the piece of paper up to her face (because she forgot to put her contacts in and she hated wearing her glasses) on the couch and frowned. "Do you really not like Phil that much, Bella?"

I sighed. "No, it's just that-"

"That he's stealing your own mother away from you and now you're left all alone - with the exception of me, of course - because you're completely anti-social and refuse to go outdoors?" She stated with a know-it-all tone.

"Since when did you become a therapist?" I shot back.

She smiled. "It's my dream, you know. Plus, it's not a horrible thing if you don't like Phil. He's _not_ what you would call the stepfather type." She wrinkled her nose like she always did when she was disgusted.

I froze. "What? What do you mean the _stepfather_ type? They're not married, Natalie. They're not even _engaged_." I was fiercely denying any kind of suggestion that Phil and Renee would get married. Renee didn't _get_ married, she just dated. Unless...

Natalie was silent. "Hey, do you know something I _don't_?"

"Um, no." She was quiet, too quiet. Natalie always talked confidently, unless she, of course, was doubting herself. Which wasn't very often.

"_Natalie_."

She finally looked up at me, her green eyes hesitant. Then she groaned. "Bella! It's...I mean, I didn't..." She stopped stumbling over her words completely when she saw the look on my face. Sighing, she turned towards me. "Well, I was hanging around your back porch, because you guys weren't home yet, and then I heard Phil talking on the phone - because he was in the driveway - and he said he was going to ask your mom to marry him. Soon."

I was shocked, to say in the least. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I whispered.

She looked at my with sympathy in her eyes. "This was just yesterday. And what was I _supposed_ to say, exactly, "hey, I heard Phil is going to propose to your mom, good luck with your new step-dad?" What kind of friend _does_ that?" She exclaimed.

"One that doesn't just blurt stuff out in the middle of nowhere!" I was overreacting, sort of, and I was blaming Natalie for something that was completely out of my control.

And what would become of me now? If Renee and Phil got married, it would be the happy newly-wedded couple, and then me - who had no one. I already knew how to fend for myself, but I was always either with Renee or Natalie. And what would happen when I graduated next year, when Natalie and I went to different colleges, where I wouldn't know anyone there, and again I would be - all by myself.

Don't get me wrong - I like having my privacy, and I'm not much into the party scene, or hanging around big groups of people. Natalie was almost the opposite, which resulted in _her_ dragging _me_ to parties and events and games and celebrations that weren't any fun at all. But most of the time I didn't say anything, and just pretended like it didn't bother me. The two of us got along, we just weren't alike. At all.

And I thought of Charlie, my dad, who lived in Forks, Washington (really, what kind of name is _that_?) and was a policeman there. _He probably gets a lot of action time_, I thought sarcastically.

He was lonely there, right? He called more than what was normal. Or maybe that was just his nature. But if he _was_ lonely, and if I was _going_ to be lonely, then I had a good idea...

I was torn away from my thoughts as I heard the front door slam shut.

My mother was home.

And judging by the way anyone could hear her laughter from a mile away, and the more masculine laughter that accompanied it, Phil was with her.

_Oh, God. He had better not - _

"Bella! Come here!" With a glance in Natalie's direction, I hesitantly got off the couch and into the hallway where my mother was, Natalie close behind. My eyes widened to comical proportions as she thrust her left hand right under my nose, a huge sparkling diamond nestled in between two smaller pink diamonds on a shiny silver band sat on her ring finger.

Damn it.

--

**I really don't know. Just to clear the air, this is NOT based on the movie, The Perfect Man. Not at all. Also, no flames. Constructive criticism, questions, concerns, etc, are appreciated and encouraged, though, so please review!**


	2. unavoidable

**I guess it's been awhile since I've updated this. Here it is!**

**Disclaimer: It's a lifelong dream of mine, but at the moment...no. I don't own.**

_**the perfect man**_

_**chapter 2 - unavoidable**_

_**--**_

I sat on the third-to-the-bottom step in my house, the only light on in the house coming from the kitchen, the only sound was the murmurs and whispers of Renee and Phil.

It was late; after midnight. I folded and unfolded my copy of The List in my hands, absently thinking if The Perfect Man was even possible. No one could be perfect, could they?

"Well, it _is_ very important to me. But I love you and I would stay here for you..." I blanched at Phil's overly romantic words, knowing he was talking about his minor-league baseball career. He belonged to a team in Florida, the only reason he even met Renee was because he was on a mini-vacation. He had to go back to Florida eventually.

I knew that he probably really wouldn't leave his precious to be with my mother, despite the pretty ring that sat on her finger now. Nope. She would move with him.

And the only thing that was worse than the dry, hot, humid climate of Arizona just _happened _to be Florida. I had been thinking more and more of Charlie, about the possiblity of moving in with him. Of course, I'd have to talk to Renee and Charlie and move to a different school.

But either way, I was going to move to another school. So the prospect of leaving Natalie behind wasn't that hard to think about. I had only one more year of high school anyways, and we'd probably be going to different colleges.

And what would be that bad about living with Charlie? No, I didn't know very well. I visited him every year (or tried to), and he wasn't a complete stranger. And that could be changed, easily. He was, after all, my own father. I probably shouldn't let a divorce that happened years ago keep me from knowing my own dad.

I leaned back a little, trying to listen to my mother's response. "Yes, I know, dear. But I can't just let you forget your dream just because of me. And Florida _would_ be nice. It's just...what about Bella? It's the middle of the school year; she can't just _leave_." She sounded distressed and confused, very miserable. I definitely had to make a decision.

Stay with Renee and Phil, watch them be all lovey-dovey and disgusting, or be lonely with Charlie. Move to hot, sunny Florida, or dreary, rainy Washington. Bright and dull.

I was sure that I could find happiness in either place. But I had made my decision. Taking a deep breath, and stood from my perch on the step and walked into the dim light of the kitchen.

--

Renee was much more surprised about my idea (or my _decision_, rather) than Phil was, which didn't faze me much. Phil was probably happy that I had decided not to hold Renee back from him and wonderful Florida. At first she acted as if she didn't like the idea, like she didn't want me to go at all and that Charlie was an evil, vile person.

And with a little coaxing from both me and Phil, she slowly started to get used to the idea. She still didn't like the idea that her "one and only baby" was moving away from her so soon and so sudden.

I could've have told her that this marriage thing was "so soon and so sudden" also, but I just bit my tongue.

My mother then continued to tell me that if (IF) I live with Charlie, I would move before Renee and Phil, after the wedding. I didn't really care when I did move, just as long as it didn't affect my schoolwork in a big way. I still wanted to go to college, after all.

I just nodded and smiling, knowing that with the "absolute ridiculous" suggestion I had just made, arguing and fighting just really wouldn't help me at all.

And I as I bid them both tonight and listened to mother claim that she had to "sleep on it, and to _think it through_", I pulled The List out of my pocket, holding it gingerly in my hands. It felt strangely weighted, like it had some sort of special powers. I snorted at my own ridiculous thoughts and blamed it on the lack of sleep.

But, now that I had everything figured out, I could sleep now. Everything would be fine.

--

"So...you're _leaving_me?" Natalie hadn't freaked out, per se, just panicked a little. She was sitting on my porch swing right beside me, kicking the porch below her a little with her toe to make us rock back and forth.

I sighed for the fifth time, because it had been the fifth time she had said something like that, and the fifth time I would have to explain.

"Natalie, you _know_ that no matter where I move that I'd still be _leaving_ you. And I promise that I'll visit you. It's just that...I don't know, I wouldn't feel right living with Renee and Phil after they just got married." I stared out into the sun, vaguely wondering if you could really scramble an egg on the sidewalk because of the heat.

"I know. But we're going to be seniors next year! Think of all the parties and fun you're going to miss out on! I mean, that was going to be our year. We were going to rule the school...," Natalie continued to grumble unhappily under her breath.

And yes, I had heard that speech about a million times this year. Senior year was sacred and important, a time for "parties and fun", a time where we could relax until exams and say our last goodbyes before college. We would do "awesome" shopping for college together, before getting plastered and making tearful farewells while we were hungover...and then leaving for college forever and ever.

Natalie was a little dramatic.

And to to put it the most simplest forms I could, she was also a realist. She knew that it was quite possible we never saw each other after college, that we might lose touch, that our senior year might be the last time we could be together before our 10 Year Reunion, where everyone would have either given up their dreams to start families or given up their families to follow their dreams.

Either way, we both knew it would all end up in unhappiness and misery.

But in way, she was also a dreamer, always saying how things didn't _have_ to be so tragic, that we didn't have to lose touch because it was easier not to contact each other while we were apart. I didn't know which part of Natalie was more frustrating; the realistic, cynical Natalie, or the dreamy, fantasy-loving Natalie. She was never in-between.

And the dreamy, fantasy-loving Natalie was showing right now, trying to force me to believe that me moving was the most horrible thing in the world, that she would absolutely die without me here with her, holding her hand and guiding her way through the world. And those were her _exact_ words.

See? I told you she was dramatic.

I rolled my eyes, watching absently as two little kids rode by on their bicycles, laughing and talking the entire way. "I doubt senior year will be much different than this year, or last year. We might be older and wiser, but high school will _always_ suck."

Natalie groaned, as if _I_ were the impossible one. "That's not my point, and you know it, Bella. I know high school will never _satisfy_ you," She rolled her eyes and I gave her an incredulous look, not exactly getting what she meant by that, "It's just that I was hoping I could spend my senior year with my best friend. It won't be as fun without you." She smiled at me hopefully, and I felt a little guilty, then.

"I'm sorry," I muttered quietly. "But it's inevitable, if you think about it. I would either be moving to Florida, or Washington. I don't really _want_ to leave, and you know that."

Natalie gave a slight sigh of relief. "Yes, okay. I know."

There was a moment of silence between us, me watching the random groups of people that passed my house as the day drug on painfully, and Natalie watched her feet scape the porch as we swung.

"I'll miss you." She admitted quietly.

I smiled at her a little, even though she still wasn't looking at me.

"I'll miss you, too."

--

**Not sure if I liked it or not. Review, and tell me what you think. **


	3. clean break

**I have a new laptop. New chapter to celebrate? Why, yes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, thank you.**

_**The perfect man**_

_**Chapter 3 - clean break**_

_**--**_

"You know, for someone who's been alive for seventeen years, you really don't have all that much stuff." Natalie commented, plopping down onto the carpeted floor of my room.

I sighed and sat down beside her in a more lady-like fashion. Or, as lady-like as the clumsiest person in the world can get.

"Yeah, I know."

It had been two and a half months since Renee and Phil had gotten engaged, and the wedding was in two weeks. I had decided to get a head-start on packing all my stuff, and I had _thought_ that something as trivial as packing up my clothes would be easy and boring, but _no_. I found that while I was packing, I was thinking more and more about the fact that yes, I was leaving Phoenix, possibly forever. I was leaving Natalie and Renee. I would no longer have my tiny, stuffy room that I didn't really like that much and I would no longer have to worry about Natalie forcing me to sneak out my window whenever she wanted to party.

And even though I always moaned and groaned about how I hated sneaking out of my house, it _was_ kind of fun. And I _would_ miss it, even though I never thought I would.

Natalie had been good about not acting sulky about my move, and I was glad. I was already in a nostalgic and somewhat sad mood, and I didn't want her to make it worse. I didn't want her guilt-tripping me, either.

So we went on as if nothing had ever happened, like my mother wasn't getting remarried and I wasn't relocating to the wonderful town of Forks, Washington to live with Charlie, the police officer. It was surprisingly easy.

And one of the distractions Natalie and I were both glad to have was The List. It was stupid, really. We would drive uptown and sit on our bench under the huge oak tree in the park, watching people walk their dogs, push children around in strollers, play Frisbee, and basically die under the unmerciful glare of the Arizona sunlight.

And we would people-watch, the one thing that we could do without one of us complaining. The List would be spread out on our laps, crinkled but proud-looking. Every time we spotted a guy (ones that were between the ages sixteen-forty, because anyone too young would make us creepy and anyone way older than us was just sort of disgusting), we would observe him for as long as he would stay in our sight, commenting on his actions (and if he had a girlfriend/wife, that was even better) and choosing the traits that might make him The Perfect Man.

Of course, no man ever really got close, and usually all of them had the same traits anyways. Usually athletic or strong. They never got close enough for us to hear their voice, and we never saw them long enough for us to depict whether he was "romantic" or "interesting."

And yes, I suppose we were a little obsessed.

Natalie gasped, straightening from her previous slouched position on the floor. "We forgot one!"

She was talking about The List, of course.

"What is it?" I asked, only slightly interested.

She rolled her eyes. "I can't _believe_ we forgot it. It's like, the most important one!"

I rolled my eyes right back. "Yeah, I'm sure it is."

"It is! He has to be a good-kisser!" She exclaimed, pulling The List out of her back pocket and grabbed a pen off my desk.

"Oh, that's of the utmost importance." I was tired. Renee and Phil weren't the _only_ ones stressed out about the wedding.

"Of course it is. I mean, would you really be able to bear dating someone who couldn't kiss?!" She was incredulous about the very thought of it.

I shrugged. "I thought that The Perfect Man had to have only five traits on that list. What if he had five, but he was a bad-kisser?" I asked.

She looked stumped. "Damn, Bella. Why do you have to ask such good questions?"

I smiled.

"But you're entirely wrong!" I frowned. "A man has to have at least five traits to be _acceptable_. To be perfect, he has to have all of them." She thought she was triumphant.

"Okay, then. So he doesn't have to be a good-kisser to be acceptable?" I raised a brow.

She glared at me. "Okay, let's put it this way. _No_ guy can be acceptable if he can't kiss well. Even if he has all the other traits."

Both brows raised at this. "Seriously?"

She nodded firmly. "Tongue counts, too."

And we both burst out laughing.

--

One week from the wedding, Natalie and I were sitting on our usual bench, people-watching. Again.

The List was sitting on our laps, like usual, but today was different. Clouds were covering the sky, blocking the sun from shining and it was considerably cooler, though the air was thick, a sign of rain later on today.

Rainy, cloudy, miserable. I wondered if Forks was like this everyday.

Natalie shifted uncomfortably beside me. "Um, Bella? Do you know that guy?" She pointed to a dark-headed guy about our age that wasn't very far away from us. In fact, he was walking towards us, staring right at us. "He's totally staring at you." Or, staring at _me_, according to Natalie.

"Maybe he thinks he knows us."

"Either way, he's cute. If he talks to you, don't trip, stumble, stutter, blush, or fall. Or, just don't do anything Bella Swan-ish." She directed in a bossy tone. I rolled my eyes.

The guy (who _was_ cuter than most of the population of guys at our school) was only about two feet away from us now. Natalie smiled at him brilliantly. "Hey there."

He nodded at her and directed his gaze to me again. "Hey. I'm Jackson."

I blushed despite of myself, not used to having someone stare at me so intensely. "Hi." I mumbled quietly.

Natalie laughed lightly, sensing my slight distress. "I'm Natalie, and this is Bella. Do I know you from somewhere?"

Still staring at me, he replied, "No, I just moved here. My mom suggested that I take a walk and introduce myself to some people around the neighborhood. I think she's crazy, but I'd rather get out of my house anyways, you know?" Natalie nodded, looking a little bored already. She had stuffed The List in her pocket when Jackson walked up to us, but I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she marked off stuff on The List.

I nodded and smiled. "Nice to meet you." I felt a little bit more comfortable with him now. He wasn't as creepy as he acted. He didn't exactly _look_ creepy, he had dark, curly hair and light brown eyes with tan skin. The contrast between his dark dramatic hair and the lightness of his eyes was a little interesting, in the least.

After a moment of somewhat-awkward silence, Natalie scooted away from me, patting the seat between us, giving me a sly wink, making me blush again.

"Have a seat, Jackson."

--

A few hours, some ice cream, and some tried-and-failed whispered conversations about him when he wasn't paying attention later, Jackson was like a brother to me.

But that was weird, because I had never had a brother, and I was pretty sure he didn't think of me like a sister, by the way he would "accidentally" brush his arm against mine, how he would say that I had a bug in my hair just so he could touch my face. It was unnerving and sort of sweet at the same time. I shied away from him with the solid knowledge that I was leaving in less than a month. I couldn't _date_ him.

But he couldn't seem to get the message.

It was getting dark, and Natalie had to go home before her mother started complaining about having "no help at the house" (because she had four sisters and two brothers, her being the oldest) and then getting herself grounded. And before we parted ways, Natalie pointed to the now very-crumpled paper in her hand. "This Jackson dude has _seven_ of the traits. Hot, athletic, interesting, he smells really good," She grinned and nudged me then. "Sweet, good personality, _and_ he's smart. Seriously, he's probably the best you'll find around here."

I rolled my eyes, glancing back towards Jackson, who was running around a few trashcans next to the sidewalk, a large chocolate lab that had probably gotten loose chasing him, tongue sticking out of its' mouth.

"Around _here_."

Natalie sighed, looking defeated. "I'm trying to help you, Isabella." I knew she was serious now. She was like Renee; whenever she used my full name, she meant business. "I know you're moving…but you don't have to _date_ this guy…"

I shook my head. "No, Natalie. I don't _hook up_ with guys, like-"

"Like me, you mean?" She actually looked offended. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I wasn't going to say _her_. I wouldn't do that.

"No, I wasn't going to say-"

"You know what?" She hissed, folding The List angrily. "I've had enough."

My eyes widened. "Enough of _what_?"

"Enough of _this_. You're always implying stuff about me - just because I like to have _fun_ with _people_, doesn't mean I'm a _slut_." She shoved the paper into her back pocket roughly, her eyes shifting towards Jackson. He was now rolling around in the in the grass with the dog.

"I don't think you're a slut, Natalie. I never said that." I said calmly, trying to reason with her.

"You don't _have_ to say it, Bella. It's what you _don't_ say that matters." She sighed and started to walk away from me.

"Natalie, wait-"

"For what? You're moving, I'm staying here." Oh, so that's what this was about. She was upset because she thought I was leaving her behind. Didn't she know that I had no choice? "It just doesn't matter anymore, Bella."

I shook my head at her. "It doesn't have to-"

"Have a nice life in Washington."

She held up a hand to Jackson, "Later."

Jackson, who was now standing (though he had grass in his hair and dirt stains on his shirt), waved back. "Bye, Natalie!"

I frowned. What, was this the end of me and Natalie's friendship? I knew we probably wouldn't see each other after I moved, or after we left for college at least, but did it _have_ to end this way?

Jackson was standing next to me, saying my name, but I couldn't hear him. All I could see was Natalie's retreating back, feeling guilty, ashamed, and angry. Part of me was thinking, "Hey, at least you don't have to worry about it anymore. It doesn't matter. You'll never see her again."

The other part of me was thinking, "You should follow her, because she's your friend and just because you're moving, that doesn't mean she doesn't feel hurt about it. You don't have to be so cynical."

It was like I had an angel on one shoulder, and the devil on the other.

It didn't matter what I wanted. I had gotten a clean break, whether I liked it or not.

--

**Don't hate Jackson, please. He's not **_**that**_** bad. Please review!**


	4. you sure know how to move

**No flames. No Jackson-bashing (or, excessive Jackson-bashing), because he is **_**not**_** taking the place of Edward. I just thought I'd let you know that now.**

_**The perfect man**_

_**Chapter 4 - you sure know how to move**_

_**--**_

Jackson had taken Natalie's place over the next few days following the ending of our friendship.

I wasn't exactly proud of the fact, though. I had told him on day one that I was moving soon, and that no relationship and/or friendship that developed between us (If I let it, anyways) would not last. He had just grinned and shrugged it off as if I had told him that the grass were green or that the sky was blue. He acted like it was nothing important, like we were two long-time friends discussing the weather.

So now, that brings us here, to my half-empty house cluttered with boxes and full of chaos, sitting on the plastic-covered couch. He sat like he lived there; slumped over, feet on a box. That annoyed me a little, but I just let it go. I tried arguing with him, but this guy was absolutely impossible.

"What's this?" Jackson asked me. He held up a crumpled piece of paper.

My eyes widened, and I attempted to snatch The List from his hand, but he dodged me easily. "It's nothing. Give it back."

He laughed. "It doesn't _look_ like nothing. Who's 'The Perfect Man?' Someone I should know about?" He made a show of raising his eyebrow at me, looking devious.

I sighed. "Really, it's _nothing_. Just something…me and Natalie made up." It made me a little nostalgic (okay, and a little sad) when I mentioned Natalie's name.

He nodded in understanding. "So, The Perfect Man isn't real?" He asked seriously.

I shrugged, grabbing the paper when he was off-guard. "I don't know, probably not."

"Am I in the running?"

The question was laughable, but yet he sounded so serious. He caught me off-guard, and I just stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. I tried to find the right words to explain, but it took me awhile.

"Well…" I broke off, carefully forming my next sentence. "No one can be _perfect_, exactly…"

Jackson laughed light-heartedly. "It's okay, I can take a hint. I'm not perfect. But let's see…are there some of these that I have?" He gestured to The List. "Like, oh, I don't know…hot? Manly? Talented?"

I rolled my eyes. "Actually, Natalie was trying to tell me that you had most of these-" Oops. I hadn't meant to say that.

Jackson's eyes widened with happiness and curiosity. "Really? And what were those?" He asked me slyly.

I winced. I had made my bed, and now I had to lay in it. "Um, well…she said you were athletic, interesting, smart, sweet…" He could tell that I was leaving stuff out.

"What else?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

I groaned in frustration. "Hot, good personality…smells good." I mumbled the last part so quietly that I knew he probably wouldn't hear it. But of course, he did.

He grinned at me arrogantly, and I wanted to slap him. He cocked his head and sniffed his shoulder. "Wow, I do smell good. I'm so flattered, Isabella."

Jackson refuses to call me Bella, even though I would really prefer him to. When he walked me home after me and Natalie's fight, he had met my mother (she adores him), who had called me Isabella. Jackson had just grinned at me, ending every sentence with my full name; "You sure do have a nice house, Isabella", "Can I have a drink, Isabella?", and even, "I bid you farewell, Isabella." And I had rolled my eyes and slammed the door on his laughing, arrogant face. He was infuriating.

I frowned at him. "That's what Natalie said, not me."

His smile disappeared and he just looked at me. "Well, what do _you_ think?"

_Hot, nice, athletic, manly…_

The question caught me off-guard, again. My brows furrowed and I shrugged, trying to seem casual. "I-I don't know…"

He smiled. "You can say it. Would you feel better if I listed all the things I like about you?"

I gaped at him.

_Sweet, good-personality, he _does_ smell-good…_

"You're pretty cool, because you're not afraid to be mean and sarcastic if you want." He used his fingers to count. "You're hot, if you don't mind me saying. You _smell good_,_" _He waggled his eyebrows, and I blushed a little. "And I have to say, you're interesting. And you're good personality just draws me to you." He added shamelessly. My face was as red as a tomato now.

_Interesting, spontaneous, considerate, strong…_

"I can tell you're not selfish or anything like that, which is good. You're smart, because you can probably kill me in a wits test." I rolled my eyes. He leaned forward to sniff me. "Yep, you've got good hygiene, too…but I don't know about manly, and strong and all that stuff, but let's forget about that, shall we?"

I raised a brow. "You're being serious?"

He nodded, looking into my eyes. Was he getting closer, or was I just going crazy?

"I'm dead serious." His breath was mingling with mine now. I could see the pretty little gold specks in his light brown eyes, making them even more enchanting than they already were. I stayed frozen with shock and pleasure as he kissed me gently, putting a hand to my cheek and another one rested at my waist, giving me a little squeeze.

And just as I started to respond to the kiss, he pulled back, leaving me a little breathless and very flushed.

_Good kisser…_

He smiled, and I gave him a small smile back.

As he leaned forward to kiss me again, I counted inside my head…twelve out of eighteen traits. He really was the best so far.

He wasn't completely perfect.

But he was good enough.

--

As I lay in bed that night, tossing and turning because I was unable to sleep, I thought back to earlier that afternoon when Jackson kissed me again and I wondered exactly what the hell was wrong with me. I had kissed him back, encouraging him when I _knew_ that I shouldn't have done anything. The wedding was _tomorrow_. I'd be moving before the week was up, and it was Saturday.

I knew that I had to tell him that I had made a mistake and nothing else could happen between us. Better yet, I should tell him that he could never see me again, because it would be pointless. It would hurt us _both_ in the end if we got too involved.

I was still worried exactly _how_ I would tell him, though. I didn't want to be cruel and heartless about it, I was just being a realist. Cynical, Natalie would say. She would be laughing at me right now, telling me that it was no big deal that I kissed a guy and had no intention of _being_ with him. She did it all the time, why couldn't I?

Hm, maybe I would get off easy and Jackson was just playing me the whole time. Okay, maybe _lucky_ wasn't the right word. It's not like I WANTED to be played. But it would make things so much easier when I told him I couldn't be with him, and he said, "Good. I never wanted to be with you, either."

I just had a feeling that Jackson wasn't like that. He probably thought that we could "make things work" and that he could convince me to change my "cynical ways." It wasn't that easy. I was _very_ stubborn.

Come Monday, I would have everything figured out. The wedding would be out of the way and I could finish packing, maybe _try_ to talk to Natalie before she crossed me out of her life forever. I would end things with Jackson - hopefully the process would be pain-less and easy, say my good-byes to anyone who had ever paid attention to me in Phoenix (but that wasn't many), and I would be on my way to Forks, Washington, to start a new life with Charlie and maybe, just maybe…find The Perfect Man.

--

I hadn't expected to see Jackson until Monday.

So you could probably imagine my reaction, with me sitting miserably alone at the reception of my mother's wedding, and Jackson, wearing an ill-fitted rental tux just for the occasion, comes waltzing in, putting his hand out to me and says, "May I have this dance, Isabella?"

I was shocked, angry, dumbfounded, stunned, upset, and a little happy (but I wouldn't show it). Some people had begun to stare at us, and I took his hand just to appease their appetite for wedding gossip.

As he lead me out to the dance floor, I caught my mother's wink with a wince and hissed, "What are you _doing_ here?" He put his arms around my waist and instinctively I put mine around his neck.

"Your mom invited me. I knew that if I told you, you wouldn't want me to come." He shrugged casually.

How did he know so much about me, whenever he had only known me for a week?

I glared at him. "Jackson, what happened yesterday-"

"Was amazing? Great? Was the best moment in your young life?" He cut me off, smirking at me lightly.

I shook my head, wishing he would be serious for just one moment, since he obviously couldn't be remotely un-annoying unless he was kissing me.

"No. Listen, I _liked_ kissing you, Jackson, I admit that." I flushed bright red, but I kept going, "It's just that you _know_ that I'm moving and I just…can't get involved with you." I finished quietly.

He frowned. "Hey, just because you're moving doesn't mean we can't _try_. There's no harm in that."

I sighed, frustrated. "Actually, there is. One of us could get hurt-"

"How do you know you're not hurting me now?" He was very blunt and I flinched, but the expression on his face didn't reveal any uneasy emotions. His eyes did the talking for him.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

He shook his head. "I liked you from the moment I saw you, Bella." I vaguely took note of the fact that he called me Bella, "I don't see why you're giving up so easily."

I would've laughed if I knew that he wouldn't think I was crazy. So, I was giving up? No, I was being _realistic_. He didn't know how hard it would be trying to maintain a long-distance relationship, and after awhile he would "give up" just like I was now. He wouldn't be complaining in a few weeks when he forgot about me, and moved onto a new girl.

When I voiced my thoughts, he let out a small, bitter laugh, "You really are a cynic, Bella. I thought I knew you…I was _hoping_ this wouldn't happen. But I guess I was wrong."

His hands fell away from my waist and he took a few firm steps back, forcing my arms to drop from his neck. He stared at me for a few moments before walking away, shooting me a sad smile of farewell.

I knew I most likely never see him again, and it bothered me. In the past week, I had lost two people who I had wanted to keep. And then I would be losing my mom and my home next, and maybe then would I be able to forget about how humiliated and regretful I felt now.

And as I stood in the middle of the filled dance floor, people giving me sympathetic looks and glances, slightly wondering if I had made the right decision or if I had just let The Perfect Man go.

--

**I hope you like. I have a new poll on my profile, please go there to vote! **

**R.E.V.I.E.W.**


	5. grin and bear it

_**the perfect man**_

_**Chapter 5 - grin and bear it**_

_**--**_

I stood outside of Natalie's house, feeling fidgety and nervous.

I was moving in less than a week - and I decided that I could save me and Natalie's friendship. Renee and Phil were on their honeymoon, Jackson was out of my life completely, and with no Natalie…I had no one. My house, which wasn't even that big, felt huge because there was no one but me in it.

I guess I didn't realize how much I really liked Natalie before.

I took a deep breath, walking up the steps of her large porch.

And now I was going to pay for it.

I had many problems with this decision I had made;

1). Natalie's mom _hated _me_. _I don't really take it personally, because she hates anyone who isn't rich or famous. I wouldn't be surprised if she even hates Natalie, but I've never said that out loud.

2). Natalie probably won't forgive me. She's more stubborn than I am - which is saying a lot - and she always tells me, "Sorry just doesn't cut it." I'm going to have to beg and _grovel_ if I want her to forgive me.

3). I'm moving soon. I'm not going to have _time_ to grovel!

4). What if this is a big waste of time? I could be finishing packing right now. Natalie probably won't forgive me, and when I move, I probably won't even see her ever again. Maybe I should turn back -

Too late. I had already knocked on the door, and yep, there was Natalie's mother. Glaring at me. Like usual.

I smiled. "Um, hi Mrs. Rodgers. Is Natalie here today?"

She smiled back, but it wasn't a nice smile. "It's _Ms_. Rodgers, Isabella." Okay, Jackson and Natalie's mom called me Isabella. But no one else. And, Natalie's dad died about four years ago…and _Ms_. Rodgers is obviously still dealing with the fact that he gave all his money to his only daughter (Natalie, duh), and she got none. "She's in her room."

She reluctantly let me inside and I climbed the stairs as fast as I dared, in case I fell or tripped.

When I got to Natalie's door, and I hesitated, my hand fisted and ready to knock. Here goes nothing…

When I knocked, I heard some shuffling noises from the inside, and then the soft padding of footsteps on the hardwood floor. Natalie swung the door open and her eyes widened when she saw me. She stared at me for a moment.

"Hi…can I talk to you?" I asked, feeling timid and insecure under her critical gaze.

She nodded curtly, looking very much like her mother as she opened the door and let me in. I was dealing with another _Ms._ Rodgers.

I stood awkwardly in the middle of her room, looking around. Nothing was different. That was a good sign, right?

Natalie sat on her bed, not looking at me.

I took a deep breath, "NatalieI'msorry."

She raised her eyebrows and looked at me, still silent. She shrugged. "I'm sorry, too."

I froze. Was it really that easy? "Um, why are _you_ sorry? You didn't do anything."

Natalie scoffed. "Sure, Bella. I didn't overreact and yell at you in front of a really cute boy. I didn't do anything wrong." She rolled her eyes, her tone sarcastic.

I smiled. Natalie was back.

"Well, I don't blame you. It's okay."

She nodded. "So…how are things with you and the potential Perfect Man?"

I sighed, walking towards the bed and sitting down next to her. "We kissed, I screwed up, he's gone."

Natalie gasped. "You guys _kissed_?" She squealed.

I rolled my eyes, she was really missing the point. "Yes, but I _screwed up_, and now _he's gone_." I stated clearly.

She looked at me as sympathetically, as if I was a little kid you had dropped my ice cream cone on the sidewalk in the middle of summer. "Bella, seriously. You're moving. What does it matter?"

I shrugged. I still felt bad, moving or not.

But she was right.

It didn't matter.

--

I moved tomorrow.

Natalie and I were back on the bench, me, half-hoping Jackson would show up, looking goofy and intense at the same time, and Natalie, looking sad and miserable as she stared up at the cloudy sky. "What will I do without you?"

I shrugged, feeling helpless. "You did it before - when we fought. You can do it again."

She shook her head. "But this is _permanent_. And I was HORRIBLY MISERABLE without you!" She exclaimed, tugging on her hair.

"I'm sorry." It's all I could say. And she knew it.

She just kept shaking her head. "I'll deal with it. I have other friends…I guess. Will you…write to me?"

I nodded, looking at her. "Every week."

"Every day."

I nodded again, following her gaze and stared at the sky. It was starting to rain.

"Every day."

--

Renee was sitting in the car, patiently waiting for me. Phil was who-knows-where (and I really didn't care), and Natalie and I were sitting on my porch swing. The last time I would sit on that porch swing, forever.

There were boxes filled throughout my house, instead of just my room. My room - which was now empty - was bigger than I had realized. I would miss that, too. I said silent goodbyes to every room in the house, not crying because there was no use for it.

I wasn't sure about Natalie, though. She would sniffle every now and then, obviously determined not to get too emotional because she knew I wouldn't know how to deal with that.

"I'm going to visit you, sometime. Before we graduate." I said, trying to make her happy.

She nodded. Then, she looked up at me, her face brightening. "I could visit _you_."

Well, I had never thought of that.

"Natalie, Forks isn't exactly…party central. It's dreary and rainy and miserable. It's like the opposite of Phoenix." I warned her.

She shook her head, determined. "I don't care. A little rain won't stop my parade!" She grinned and I shook my head, smiling. "We can _make_ Forks party central. I have the power."

I was glad she was cheering up, but I seriously doubted the part about making Forks party central. That would probably never happen. I haven't been there for a long time, but I could remember the fact that it was very uninteresting.

"Okay, you'll visit me then." Renee honked the horn, rolling down the window.

"Your flight leaves soon!" She warned. I nodded at her and stood up, Natalie following me.

We walked off the porch, and I turned around to face her. She was trying not to cry again. Before I knew what was happening, she was hugging me and I couldn't breathe. Feeling every emotion I had bottled inside come to the surface, and blinked away tears. Natalie had that effect on people, sometimes. Very emotional.

When we pulled back, we smiled at each other, and she waved as I climbed into the car and we backed out of the driveway.

I knew I was going to move.

I just hadn't realized it was going to be this hard.

--

**I want reviews. I hate so sound needy and mean, but people…I don't like updating with any feedback. That's all I want, is a few reviews. I update for my reader's sake, for **_**their**_** pleasure. Thanks.**


	6. don't look back

**This is the part of the story where it becomes a little AU-ish. But only a little. Also, I don't know if the truck incident was before school or after school. Forgive me if I got it wrong. I don't own the Twilight series (though I wish I did), so I can't look back and check.**

_**the perfect man**_

_**Chapter 6 - don't look back  
**_

_**--**_

_Dear Bella, _

_How are you? I'm doing okay, I guess. Life around here has been kind of dull without you, but I suppose I'll live. How is Forks? Dreary, boring, and miserable?_

_Just kidding. But, um, well, I talked to Jackson. I was sitting in the park on our bench and he just walked up to me, sat down, and started talking to me like we're the best of friends or something. He's strange. He asked about you, and how you are doing…but I told him if he really wanted to know, he could write you a letter himself._

_So if you get one from him in the next few days…don't be surprised. You have been warned._

_Some really weird people moved into your old house. A married couple, I believe. They have lawn gnomes, and a fountain in your front yard. Although technically, it's their front yard now. But to me, it will always be your house._

_Write me back, Bella Swan. I miss you. _

_And one more important question; have you met The Perfect Man yet?_

_Love,_

_Natalie._

_--_

I smiled as I read Natalie's letter while sitting in my new truck (well, new to me. It's pretty old.) in the school parking lot. I was risking being late for homeroom, but that was okay. I didn't care much.

Folding the letter back up and shoving it in my back pocket - also where I had stashed The List, I got out of my truck and sighed as I slipped a little on the icy ground. Grabbing onto the tailgate to steady myself, I took a deep breath. If only walking wasn't something that I had to work at, so I didn't kill myself. Pathetic. And it only got worse when I had moved to Forks.

Maybe it was because I was so tired. I had stayed up late last night studying for the Calculus test I had today. Fun. With that sudden thought, I wondered if I had even remembered to bring my book back to school. Still standing beside my truck, I searched through my backpack to make sure.

Suddenly, I felt strange. Like someone was staring at me. Looking behind me, I noticed that I was right. Someone _was_staring at me.

Edward Cullen.

I looked away quickly, only to look back again. His eyes were that strange color of gold that just _had_ to be fake. No one could accomplish such a rare color, could they?

I felt hypnotized, and I couldn't look away. His expression was thoughtful and serious, and he looked slightly tense. Of course, this reminded me of when we were in class, sitting next to each other, when he was tense and looking like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world, and me, feeling nervous and anxious and confused. I didn't know what it was about me that made him so angry or tense, but I wanted to find out.

I heard a beeping noise. It sounded like a horn was honking. I tore my eyes away from Edward's and sharply turned my head, my eyes widening when I saw the huge white van heading straight towards me…

In a flash, I was being pulled towards a strong, freezing cold body and I heard the crunch of metal and the screeching of tires.

Someone had stopped the van. Looking up (I was on the ground now, how did I get there?), I saw Edward, my savior. Then I noticed the van, right in front of me, and his hand, and then dent in the van…

How did he _do_ that? He obviously had to have some sort of super-human strength. I felt disoriented and shocked, like I could pass out at any moment. I heard the sirens on the ambulance getting closer by the second. Great.

There was something strange going on with Edward Cullen (and his whole family). And I was going to find out.

_Protective and heroic isn't on the list._

_--_

_Dear Natalie, _

_Everything is going…just fine here. Well, sort of. Not really._

_There was the incident where I almost got hit by a van but got saved at the last second by some guy in my class. Exciting, huh? I didn't expect it to happen, either. Oh, you need to add heroic and protective to The List, by the way._

_I haven't got anything from Jackson yet, but I'll be on the look-out. Is he still angry with me? Tell him I'm sorry. Or wait, you know what? I'll just wait for that letter to come. If he sent one at all._

_Lawn gnomes? They sure do _sound _weird. I'm sure you would get along great with them, Natalie. Haha, just kidding!_

_And I'm not sure if I've met The Perfect Man yet…it's a working progress. I'm doing an investigation, if you will. _

_I'll give you updates!_

_Love, _

_Bella._

_--_

_Hot. _Check.

_Sensitive._ Not sure. He _did_ save my life, after all.

_Manly. _Check. He's sure not_ girly_.

_Athletic_. Check. I've seen his arms. They are _not_ small.

_Smells-good._ Check, most definitely. That's a little embarrassing to admit, but he smells _really_ good.

_Smart_. Check. He gets hundreds on all his tests. Trust me, I've seen them.

_Good personality._ Hmm. Check? I mean, we're not exactly what you would call…best friends.

_Romantic. _I'll look into this one.

_Interesting_. Check. Very interesting.

_Strong_. Check. More like super-strong.

_Sweet. _This is like romantic, sort of. I have a feeling that he is, though.

_Affectionate. _No comment. Not yet.

_Talented._ He put a dent in a van with one HAND. Check.

_Has good hygiene. _Check. I can only guess so.

_Spontaneous. _Check.

_Gentle_. Check. It's like he's scared he's going to break me.

_Considerate. _Check. Again, HE SAVED MY LIFE.

_Good__-kisser. _I really don't know yet.

_Protective and heroic. _Check, and check. Yes.

That's at _least_ fifteen out of…twenty-one. That's three more than Jackson, and I don't even know Edward Cullen that well.

Is it really possible that I have found The Perfect Man?

--

_Dear Isabella,_

_Um…how are you? I'm doing fine. How is the weather there?_

…_okay, I'm cutting to the chase. I'm sorry. I was completely out of line when I yelled at you, at your mother's wedding, in front of everyone. You didn't deserve that. But I really do believe that you are a cynic. And I mean that in the best way possible._

_But maybe you were right. You're in Washington now and maybe I long-distance relationship wouldn't have worked between us…but that doesn't mean we couldn't have tried. _

_It's not your fault that you didn't want to get involved in a relationship and risk hurting us both. But isn't that what life is about, is risks? I just hope you don't have this strange, cynical view of life for the rest of your days, Isabella Swan. It might get in the way of everything you love._

_Love, _

_Jackson._

_--_

**Forgive me if the part with Edward and the van isn't like the book, I haven't read Twilight in awhile. I wish I owned the book, but I don't have money to buy it myself. **

**Please review!**


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